Queen of Hearts
by scousemuz1k
Summary: Pure fluff, no plot, because scouse is celebrating... Tony in hot water with Lucy's parents.


**AN: If you're the type to die of boredom from lack of action, stop reading now. Pure, fluffy self-indulgence, to announce the arrival today of Lauren Anne, sister for Aiden. My fourth and last (so I'm told) grandchild. Mother and baby both well, grandma completely besotted.**

**A nod in passing to other Lucyverse stories, but you don't have to have read them to get this one. Not sure if the Lucy- and Doris-verses are compatible, so let's be arbitrary and say they are.**

**Oh, and one more thing – this AN will be as long as the story – I've now fulfilled a completely silly ambition; to post a story on fanfic with a title beginning with each letter of the alphabet. **

Queen of Hearts

By scousemuz1k

"Rugby Union is a growing sport in the USA," Rhodri Humphries had told Tony proudly, waving a hand expansively across the two pitches his club proudly owned. Now, as he sat cheering for the Washington Welsh, as they played their charity challenge match against a university team, the man who'd played American Football noted with great interest the differences and the similarities between the two disciplines. His knee ached in sympathy.

This wasn't the first, or the second time Tony had been coerced, (not protesting too much,) into helping out at a charity event, and it sure wouldn't be the last, but his part had begun at the crack of dawn, erecting tents and awnings for the stalls and sideshows, and he was glad to be able to rest for a while. Not that yelling for a team was particularly restful, and when Rod Humphries scored the winning er... what was it, try... Tony was as hoarse as the Welsh Americans around him.

It was fitting; Rod had been a major player in organising the event, and one of the charities that would benefit was the refuge for abused women and children that he and his wife, and Tony's friend Dr. Patch Hastings helped to run. The NCIS agent hadn't been happy to volunteer to help with the pony rides – until he learned it was that or judge the fancy-dress competitions; he didn't fancy been lynched by a horde of disappointed moms. Then Amos Frame had offered to box Doris up from her home in Virginia, and that had really made Tony's mind up.

As the game ended, he wandered across the training pitch where the fair was set up, over to the burger stand and bought his lunch. He headed for the small paddock where Doris was bossing the ponies, in a motherly sort of way, to check that all his charges were ready for their afternoon's work. The four young Sea-Cadets who'd volunteered to help saw him and came over, all of them munching one goody or another, and Doris's nostrils twitched delicately. Tony dug in his pockets to produce the hoped for treat, which was taken politely... Doris kissed him on the cheek, to the astonishment of the cadets.

"Does she always do that?"

"Oh yeah..."

Those who'd only come to watch the match drifted away, others stayed, and the field began to fill up with those who'd come to the fair. Across the field a vintage steam calliope struck up its whistling melody, and the fun began. In the middle distance Tony could see Patch and Polly, and in between them, holding each firmly by the hand to make sure they didn't run away, thirteen-month-old Lucy toddled with the solemn concentration of someone who wasn't going to stop now she'd found out how to do it. She wore a white dress with a sticky-outy skirt, covered with red hearts, and a slightly askew crown with a big heart on the front. He grinned to himself, and hoped the Queen of Hearts would have time to come over and visit her most loyal subject before long.

The afternoon went well, but for one incident, and Tony was pretty sure Doris could have handled it herself, without any help from him.

The small, oval running track had been pressed into service as the riding area, and the sleek, well fed ponies plodded cheerfully round, happy enough as long as they were fed regular treats and had a rest from time to time. (Tony thought of the English artist, Norman Thelwell, whose cartoon ponies and their young riders were well observed from real life, and thought these four could have modelled for him.) Most of the children were young, so the ponies were usually led by the cadet volunteers, and no faster than a walk was the rule; completely ignored by one older boy, who was trying to kick Doris into going faster. The big mare stopped dead, looked round at him, fixed him with a glare and huffed warningly.

"Stupid animal! Move!"

Tony walked unhurriedly over, as Doris just stood there.

"The lady doesn't like being called stupid, son."

"I don't want to walk. Dumb horse! Make it _move_!" He kicked again.

Tony said, "Take a bow, Doris." The mare stretched one foreleg out, and bent the other knee right to the ground, lowering her head as she did so, and the astonished young man slid gently down her shoulders and neck, to end up sitting ignominiously on the ground. As she stood up again, with a snort that could have been a raspberry, Tony said, "Told you she's not stupid... hey... come back... don't you want a refund?"

"Hey, DiNozzo..." the afternoon was drawing on when Tony was hailed by a familiar voice.

"Hi, Boss!" Gibbs was striding across the grass with Lucy riding on his arm. He set her down, and she laughed and toddled as fast as she could towards her adored godfather. He gave a whoop and lifted her high. "Hey, Queen of Hearts, good to see ya... would Her Majesty like a ride?"

Lucy giggled with delight as Tony swung up into Doris's saddle and she was lifted up to join him, and they proceeded round the track at a gentle pace, with Gibbs walking alongside.

"Where're Polly and Patch?"

Gibbs laughed. "Judging the fancy dress – tried to ask _me_... anyway, I wouldn't be in too much of a hurry to talk to them – they're not best pleased with you."

"_What? _What are they mad about? What have I done?"

"Don't ask me... I asked if I should take Lucy to see you, and Polly said something about wait until she catches up with you."

"Huh? She didn't say why? What the heck... I haven't _done_ anything! I wouldn't..."

"Darned if I know," Gibbs shrugged, "but she's after you for something. Patch, too."

As they came round the curve of the track, Tony could see Lucy's parents standing waiting at the start point, and both of them were glaring. There were none of the usual welcoming smiles anywhere to be seen. Tony winced, and brought Doris to a halt, or rather Doris knew where to stop and just did, because her rider was just staring in bewildered apprehension.

"This," Polly said heavily as he handed Lucy down to her, "is all your fault."

"It is? I mean, what is?" His green eyes were wide with alarm.

"We trusted you, Tony," Patch added sternly. "We trusted you to have a responsible part in our daughter's education. To help her recognise what's good and what's not."

For all that he'd been a star actor in school plays as a child, Patch, as Tony had noticed once before, was not a natural undercover operative, and he was _almost _certain from the twitch of the lanky Commander's mouth, that he was being wound up somehow, but he couldn't be sure. He swung down from Doris's back. "What have I done? What have I taught her?"

Polly came back to the attack. "She said her first word," she told him reprovingly. "It can only have come from you."

"Pol, I _swear_ I've never said a bad word in front of her! I know I haven't! I wouldn't..."

"Hmmph." Polly sat down on a hay bale, and dug a colourful book out of her tote-bag. Patch sat beside her, with Lucy on his knee, and Polly motioned sharply for Tony to sit down on the other side. Gibbs stayed on his feet, having a chat with Doris.

Polly opened the book; it was clearly a favourite of Lucy's, as she bounced excitedly. The picture was of the Queen of Hearts with her tray of tarts, and the Knave lurking in the background. Fixing Tony with a severe look, Lucy's mother pointed to the book and read aloud, "The Queen of Hearts, she made some –" she pointed to the picture of the tarts.

"Pi'tha!" Lucy said proudly.

Tony beamed. "_That's_ my girl," he said.

THE END


End file.
